Survival Mode Marriage

The dictionary defines “survival” as a living or continuing longer than another person or thing; or one that survives. How many marriages today find themselves in the survival mode? The answer would be there are a lot. The primary cause would be those things that once stimulated and invigorated the marriage seem to be a “distant memory”. Thus, everyday becomes a challenge just trying to hold on and hold out.

When a couple decides to marry, there is so much joy and happiness during these times. Hours are spent in long phone conversations, many trips to the movies, and just dreaming about what the future holds for the two of them. Then they marry and thus begin a new chapter in their lives as they now become “one”.

On this new journey as husband and wife, their lives begin to change as components are constantly being added to the original “equation”. Now there are additional responsibilities such as house notes, car notes, insurance premiums, and children. And thus, over time the very things that brought these two lovers together to formulate their decision to become husband and wife seem to be nothing more than a vapor, which appears for a little while and vanishes away.

Sometimes couples become so over burden by the challenges of life that they lose focus and question if they are still in love; can they overcome the challenges that seem to continually come their way; or is it possible just to hold on a little while longer for surely help is on the way. When your thoughts are in this arena, you are surely in the “survival mode”.

What is needed at this very moment is to remember what brought you both together in the beginning. What is it that caused your every thought to be about him or about her? When you begin this exercise you are bringing back to your memory all the powerful and positive reasons you decided to commit your lives together.

Take time together to talk and truly communicate about what’s seems to be missing in your relationship and work to restore that happiness you once enjoyed. Make a commitment to make everyday filled with joy and happiness and you will begin anew and move from a “survival mode” of thinking to one of thanksgiving and appreciation.